17 July 2011

Some Days I Feel Just Like Charlie Brown

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find the two songs I wanted to put from the super fun musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. But! I did find two great ones from it. This is one of those musicals I really wish I could have seen with the original revival cast. Enjoy!







16 July 2011

On A Silent Day at Home

This Present Stillness

“Teach us to sit still
Even among these rocks”
T.S. Eliot, Ash Wednesday


I have lost the stillness.
Did I ever have it?
I think I had it as a child,
when I would sit in my mother’s arms,
never questioning what tomorrow held,
or even today for that matter.
Everything was new, everything wonderful.
Now I act as if the only wonderful
thing is whatever comes next.
I throw out the present with the past,
always waiting for the future,
which of course will never come.
The past is definite, the future infinite,
and both turn to stone in the light of the present.
Teach me to be still in this eternal present.

15 July 2011

Trees

Think of the trees.
Not of their violent striving
to kiss the stars at night,
not of their secrets
swished about amidst the breeze,
not even of their age, and generations
dead and gone who also sat
beneath these very branches,
but only think of them as of a profile.
See the dark outline against
the bright white of the sun.
See all the shapes that work their way
up from roots to the tips of leaves.
Then see the whole of the
ancient vertical trunk.
See it's constancy, never shaken: a paragon
               of straightness.
Think of the trees.

10 July 2011

Today

Today I woke up quite early without any alarm to blame.
Today I read poetry to an audience of a dog and two cats.
Today I organized my bookshelf in alphabetical order by the author's last names.
Today I read a book through the afternoon.
Today I went on a walk about the neighborhood.
Today I felt the victory of putting together a puzzle.

Is it just me, or am I slowly becoming an elderly lady?

06 July 2011

An Evening At My Grandparent’s House

The old grandfather clock sits in the corner
where it always has.
At night it wages war against the silence -
            its pawns fighting skirmishes by the second.
Each one more present than the last;
            each shot heard round the room.
But the hour marks the entrance of the aged general
           with his distinguished bellow.
His voice is strong, but weathered -
            a battered ship on its homeward journey.
The army of the clock is meticulous in its fight,
            and I dare say it will not be beaten, save for by time itself.

01 July 2011

The Grand Mirror of Facebook

**I want to begin this blog post with a disclaimer: I am not against Facebook. On the contrary, I think there are many wonderful things about Facebook, and I used it to much good, I think, while I had one. Further, this post is not merely a warning about Facebook, which is simply the easiest example of an issue I have been thinking about for some time now, but a warning about a point of view that I think effects many people – myself not excluded. And that is all that this is: a warning. No more, and no less. All right, now on to the post.**

Several months ago I made the decision to switch off of Facebook for a while. At the time it was kind of on a whim to be honest. There were many reasons (which I can tell you if you want to know), but I'm not quite sure which one was the tipping point. At any rate, I just decided the cons outweighed the pros for me. And having been “offline” for some time, the distance has given me a bit of clarity.

In the last few weeks I have been thinking about Facebook in a new way. Quite a few ideas had been spinning through my head, but it wasn't until I was reading a certain chapter in Perelandra by C.S. Lewis that they all came into alignment for me, and I saw what I couldn't before.

To set the scene from the book, the hero, a philologist named Dr. Ransom, has landed on a beautiful and exotic planet called Perelandra (Venus). There he has met a woman whom he comes to find is the first of her kind on the planet - the first parallel to the story of Adam and Eve. When Dr. Ransom meets her he comes to find that she has lost a man whom she calls the King (the first man). He further learns that she is in direct contact with the God figure of the story, Maledil. But an evil has entered the world of Perelandra. The “Tempter” has taken over the body of a professor of physics, Weston, and is attempting cause the mother of Perelandra to disobey Maledil's instructions. One of his weapons is a tiny mirror that he has brought with him. Upon seeing herself, the lady is taken aback.

Here is an excerpt:


            “Things being two when they are one,” replied the Lady decisively, “That thing” (she pointed to the mirror) “is me and not me.”
            “But if you do not look you will never know how beautiful you are,” [replied Weston’s Body or the Un-man].
            “It comes into my mind, Stranger,” she answered, “that a fruit does not eat itself, and a man cannot be together with himself.”
            “A fruit cannot do that because it is only a fruit,” said the Un-man. “But we can do it. We call this thing a mirror. A man can love himself, and be together with himself. That is what it means to be a man or a woman – to walk alongside oneself as if one were another person and to delight in one’s own beauty. Mirrors were made to teach this art.”
            “Is it a good?” said the Lady.
            “No,” said Ransom.
            “How can you find out without trying?” said the Un-man.
            “If you try it and it is not a good,” said Ransom, “how do you know whether you will be able to stop doing it?”
            “I am walking alongside myself already,” said the Lady. “But I do not yet know what I look like. If I have become two I had better know what the other is. As for you, Piebald [her name for Ransom], one look will show me this woman’s face and why should I look more than once?”
            She took the mirror, timidly but firmly, from the Un-man and looked into it in silence for the better part of a minute. Then she let it sink in and stood holding it at her side.
            “It is very strange,” she said at last.
            “It is very beautiful,” said the Un-man. “Do you not think so?”
            “Yes.”


Now of course the story of the man who looked at himself in the mirror and fell in love with the image he beheld is as old as Narcissus himself, but this passage brought me back to a line that I remembered from Hannah Coulter in which Wendell Berry says, “A man’s desire is the most flattering mirror a woman ever stands before, and she wants to see herself shining in it.”

I began to think of a mirror as not only the physical object, but rather as a mechanism for viewing oneself when one should be looking outward; or rather of projecting what is inward into the outside world. Further on in the chapter from Perelandra, Lewis says, “The image of her beautiful body was offered to her only as a means to awake the far more perilous image of her great soul. The external and, as it were, dramatic conception of the self was the enemy’s true aim. He was making her mind a theatre in which that phantom self should hold the stage. He had already written the play.”

This was when I began to think more clearly of Facebook and the online persona that we often give ourselves. With Facebook, we “upload” ourselves online, but we are very selective with what we show. We want others to see the best versions of ourselves. We quite literally become two out of one. And the frightening thing is that we can manipulate the image to a great extent.

One inevitable result is that this image becomes how we really see ourselves, and it is divorced from who we truly are. Because we begin to see this image as outside ourselves and other, we can begin to admire it. To take this to a bit of the absurd, we can begin to see ourselves as an amalgam of status likes, picture comments, and friend counts.

Another problem that arises is that we cease to see our friends for who they truly are, eternal souls created in the image of God, and begin to see them as a distorted reflection of ourselves, or a means through which to see ourselves.

Because we live in a culture that blurs the line between what we desire and what we deserve we are constantly being told that we are the gods of our universe – that we are the ultimate deciders and deserve the ultimate praise. But I know myself enough to be thankful that God is completely other than me. Like Chesterton, I would much rather be the man who tries to fit my head into the heavens, and not the man who tries to fit heavens into my head.

But what if I could delete all of the imperfections that remind me of my place of subservience to my Savior? What if all I saw were the carefully selected and very few virtues (dim reflections of the ultimate good) that God allows to shine through me? Perhaps then I would be tempted to look inward to the reflection and not outward to the origin of all Good that ever has been and ever will be.